8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Groomsmen
Your groomsmen are your best buds, so you’ve gotta treat ‘em right. Here are a few things you should avoid saying to them.
Planning a wedding can be pretty stressful. If you’re caught up in the whirlwind of it all you may end up saying some things to your inner circle that you really don’t want to say. Add these sentences to your definite don’ts list and you’ll remain on great terms with your merry gang of groomsmen.
Here are a few things you should never say to your groomsmen.
“You can wear whatever you want to my wedding.”
Even if clothing isn’t one of your priorities, you shouldn’t let your groomsmen pick their own ensembles for your wedding day - at least, not without a bit of guidance. If you don’t want to go all out and choose their suits for them, give them a blueprint for what you’re looking for (suit style and colour, shirt colour, any accessories you want them to wear - the whole nine yards). This will ensure that you’ll be standing with dapper dudes, not a motley crew, on your wedding day.
“Please get rid of your beard/cut your hair before the big day.”
You aren’t your best bud’s mom, so please don’t tell them how amazing they’d look if they did a little beard or hair maintenance. While they should look their best on your big day, they shouldn’t have to drastically change their appearance just to make you happy. If their flowing, Jason Momoa-esque locks give them confidence, let them do their thing.
“I’m planning my own bachelor party.”
Before you freak out, you can definitely play a role in planning your bachelor party, but your gang of groomsmen should be in control. You’ve got a wedding to plan, so let them sort out the nitty gritty details of this bash (honestly, you’ll thank them when you’re knee deep in seating plan drafts and linen swatches). Plus, they may want to plan a few surprises for you, and what’s a bachelor party without a few unknown twists and turns (they make for the best memories).
“No plus ones.”
This rule isn’t set in stone, especially if you’re planning a very intimate soiree, but it usually does apply. While not all of your guests need to be gifted with a plus one, it’s common courtesy to let the members of your wedding party bring their partner in crime (they’re VIPs, so they get the VIP treatment). Note: if one of your pals wants to bring a Tinder match that he hasn’t even met yet or a very new love interest, you can totally take away his plus one card (your wedding, your rules).
“Here’s your to-do list, hop to it.”
Repeat after me: “I am in charge of planning my wedding, not my groomsmen”. Sure, you can ask if they’re willing to lend a helping hand here and there, but you need to remember that they have their own lives and, while they’re proudly standing by your side on your big day, they shouldn’t have to put their priorities on the back burner to help you out.
“I need to give your toast a once-over.”
Sorry, but you really have no control when it comes to wedding speeches. Yes, you can give your friends a few pointers - for example: “hey, please don’t mention our drunken college antics, my grandmother will be listening.” - but you shouldn’t manicure their speech for them. They probably want to surprise you on your wedding day, and, honestly a few embarrassing stories never hurt anyone.
“We may be taking photos for a few hours.”
You don’t want your groomsmen to be sulking in your wedding photos, so don’t make them smile for the camera for hours at a time. Make your portrait sessions short and sweet, that way everyone (including you) will have more time to enjoy the festivities.
“I’m cutting you from the wedding party.”
Slow your roll, groomzilla. While you are the captain of your wedding ship, you shouldn’t go on a full blown power trip. If one of your groomsmen isn’t able to make it to a fitting or doesn’t have the time to help you run errands, don’t show him the door. Seriously, under very few circumstances is it OK to “fire” a groomsmen. You’ll just end up with bad blood at your wedding, and nobody wants that.
