8 Types of Mother-of-the-Bride or Groom (and How to Deal With Them)
Your mom can simultaneously be your best friend and your worst enemy while wedding planning. Here are some tips and tricks for handling sticky situations with Spotlight Stealers, Coddlers and more.
Unfortunately, you’ll be encountering a host of difficult people in the months leading up to your wedding. While you probably expected your judgemental friend or attention seeking MOH to stir up a bit of trouble, you didn’t think your mom would cause you any extra stress (she’s practically perfect in every way!). Before you start worrying about waging war with your family, read these tips and tricks - they’ll help you get through the tough times.
Here are the types of mother-of-the-bride (or groom) and how to deal with them.
The BFF
Remember that scene in Mean Girls when Mrs. George says, “I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom”? This is your mother. She sported the same ensemble as your bridesmaid squad at your bachelorette party. She’s hit the gym with you and your MOH. Heck, maybe she’s even started attending brunch with you and your besties. If you’re looking for a little bit of space, try to dedicate some time to specific mother-daughter wedding activities and ask her to give you some time alone with your pals. She may get a case of FOMO, but she’ll understand.
The Spotlight Stealer
Has your mom already tried to find a gown with more bling than yours? Has she decided on your cake flavour before you’ve even attended a tasting? Well, it sounds like you’ve got a spotlight stealer on your hands. She may not even realize it, but she’s thinking of your big day as her own. The best way to deal is to ask her to take a step back and let you have your moment. If you’re a little too nervous to say it yourself, you can always ask another family member to run interference.
The Investor
When it comes to weddings, parents often take on a lot of the financial burden. While this gesture is much appreciated, it doesn’t mean they run the show. Instead of letting your mom take the reins on every project because she’s footing the bill, find a way to work together. Sure, she can put in her two cents, but don’t let her turn your dream wedding into her dream wedding.
The Shadow
We all have that friend that’s a little too clingy. You know, the one who texts you at least twenty times a day and needs to know everything that’s going on in your life? Well, I hate to tell you this, but your mom may become that friend when you start planning your wedding. She’ll want to know all the details of your big day down to your nail polish shade and will follow you to every venue scouting mission and menu tasting. Instead of trying to ghost your own mother, give her a few tasks to focus on. That way she can get in on the action without suffocating you.
The Intruder
“Mother knows best” has turned into your mom’s catchphrase. She’s started ordering linens, booking venues and meeting up with your planner without your consent. In fact, she’s pretty much planned your whole wedding herself. While this comes from a good place, you’re going to have to chime in if you want your fairytale wedding. Instead of starting a feud, ask your vendors not to make any changes until they’ve been approved by you and you alone. If it gets really out of hand, sit down and talk it out with her, being on the same page is key.
The Coddler
Remember the Robert Munsch classic, Love You Forever? To sum it up, the book’s message is that you will always be your mom’s baby - and boy, did that message ever resonate with your mother. She’s spent most of your wedding planning adventure in tears, saying things like “they grow up so fast” and “I can’t believe my baby is old enough to be getting married”. If this is the case, you’ll probably want to have a heart to heart with her. This time should be reserved for smiles, not frowns.
The Chill Mom
This Chill Mom is the exact opposite of The Coddler. She is all about letting you spread your wings and fly all on your own. While having independence is great when it comes to certain parts of planning, you’re missing out on some great bonding opportunities. Don’t try to overload her with tasks, but ask if she’s willing to get involved in a few of the pre-wedding shenanigans, like dress shopping or menu tasting.
The Critic
For most of planning, this type of mom flies under the radar, acting more or less like The Chill Mom. However, now and again she’ll surprise you by voicing how she really feels about your wedding plans - and a lot of the time those thoughts err on the negative side. If she starts bashing your wedding before it’s even happened, just let it go. All that matters is that you’re happy with your choices.
